Singing Dem Doggone Demo Blues

by Nika

The old house had suffered long years of abuse and neglect when I first came to visit.    I felt an immediate connection between us.  Abandoned and ill-treated, it called out for a loving restoration.  And, I committed myself to provide it with the highest level of care.

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Now, six weeks into the restoration process, I am at a real low point.  Everything is a mess.  And, as Dorothy Parker noted, “It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.”

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The yard is rutted, the concrete patio has been destroyed, the walls and ceilings are riddled with jagged cuts, and there are piles of trash everywhere.

I am overwhelmed an saddened by the destruction.  This is not what I envisioned.

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My contractor assures me that this is all quite necessary and a normal part of the renovation process.  But, I can’t help but wish that it could be a cleaner, gentler process.  Even as a child, I craved quiet and order.  Mostly, I found it in books, but this is real life – distressingly real.

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Patching should begin next week.  Until it does, I am stuck singing ‘dem doggone demo blues.

Was this all a mistake?  I can’t think so.  I am too far into this journey to turn back.  I have invested too much of everything: time, sweat, money, dreams, sleepless nights, and general stress.  My cortisol levels have reached new highs.

I have to see the process to its end, no matter what chaos reigns at the moment.  I am not letting this mess turn into a tragedy.